Our first problem....

31st of march, the spark was given out.

The day my facebook relationship status was

changed from single to in a relationship officially.

I know her pain, her past and her sufferings.

I thought I finally had the chance to rewrite her memories...

but i was wrong...

I was unable to provide her with enough secureness,

I was unable to prevent her tears from flowing ..

out of sorrow and regret.

She was feeling very hurt and emo...

But i can't say anything that can cheer her up,

instead of cheering her up,

I feel pain more than she knows...

I feel pain that i was unable to let her have more faith in me...

I feel pain cause i was unable to let her understand that i'm serious in our relationship.

I feel pain...

because that jerk is still haunting her...

In the end...

what hurts the most...

is knowing the fact that I'm partly to be blame

of how she got that scar...

Lust to Love

This post was actually typed out in the middle of the midnight.

At first before bed I was thinking of you,

Tonight (last night) you look gorgeous,

And I can’t bring myself into saying it to you.

Instead of doing so I talked nonsense about it.

Because,

You are not just gorgeous, you ignited the lust.

The desire for you is strong in a lustful way,

I figured it might be normal? I’m a teenager male.

Humans get sexually attracted sometimes,

Raging hormones, that would be Meiyong’s comment.

Just rationality just kept me sane for now.

However after going to bed,

Although my eyes were shut close,

my brain remains thinking…

Thinking why would I would feel such way towards you.

Woke up at 3.30am, thinking back every stuff.

The desire for you is still there, but in a stronger sense.

I want you, but no longer in a lustful way.

I want to embrace you in my arms,

I want to hug you this very moment,

Hugging you tightly and kissing you ,

making out until we ran out of air.

I desire for you,

I wish to understand you more.

I wish to overwrite you painful past,

with a memory of a new relationship.

I will not guarantee that I will provide you enough happiness,

But I can promise you that I will not let you shed a tear,

Tears out of sorrow and regret.

I may be thinking and acting on impulse right now,

But I trust what I’m thinking now is thoughts during a clear mind.

We may not be meant for each other.

However…

I wish both of us are given a chance.

If the door to your heart is really locked due to that previous bastard,

I wish to unlock it.

If the scar of past still vivid inside you,

I wish to erase it.

You may say.

I fall in love easily.

I would half agree with it now.

Males, easily attracted by sex appeal,

Without clear thinking and rationality,

I think I would ask 5-6 girls out in my secondary school.

However, the only serious ones which I truly love the girl,

Only occurred 3 times.

I do not believe in love in first sight,

For in my opinion nothing is gonna work in such relationship

Built based on love at first sight.

For the past 3 times of falling in love for real,

All I had in mind when confessing is just purely

Want to speak my mind,

whether it’s a happening relationship I leave it to the girl’s decision.

However for this time,

I’m speaking my mind,

And I want a relationship with you.

I truly want a chance with you,

Not a single ounce of lust for you now.

Just a pure desire for you.

*This post is purely just my feelings, if readers would like to give negative feedback’

Bout I should not be doing this and that, I’ll have to ask you to save it. However, I don’t

Mind if I’m commented horny here. I’m wide awake when doing this post and I know what I said*

My thoughts

Not aiming anyone this time but just purely my thoughts.

Self-reflection is important.
Too less of it, may make you arrogant, oblivious even.
Self-worth is important.
Yet, too much of it may make you egotistic.
Having a stand on your belief is important.
But respecting other people's point of view is equally important

(Extracted from Jo's post)

It's not just me who need self reflection at some point you know.

You never respected other's opinion,

and you stand your ground that you are correct about something.

Everytime we saw someone, comments comes from you again.

"She's/ He's ugly,fat,short,shy, blah blah blah"

Who gave you the permission to say someone is ugly?

Who gave you the permission to say someone is pretty?

Who gave you the permission to judge a book by its cover?

Who gave you the permission to call someone noob?

Who gave you the permisson to call someone fat?

Tell me,

who did gave you those permissions?

Ask deep within yourself and you will realise

no one every gave you such permissions.

Not God, not your parents, not your friends.

NO ONE.

My friends said that i have problems in accepting other's view on something,

but how different are they?

Sometimes you said you told me something,

but i forgot, and you got mad, and I'm the guilty one.

However, when you missed out what I told you,

the blame is put on me, as if i didnt notify you of anything.

Miscommunications occur in daily lifes,

Misunderstanding happens every minute.

Think before you start judging.

Calling me "Incompetence asshole" ?

Are you no different?

Some humans get mad at real trivial stuffs, and start scolding other's.

"Asshole, F***kers, Noob, Motherhen, etc etc"

Who ever gave you such permission?

You are not perfect yourself, therefore you have no right to scold others.

When you think your opinion is not accepted by others, you might want to spend few moments and think.

Did you accept theirs?

Instead of starting your curse and swears, ponder into it,

and you will realise we are no difference.

"there are also times that we are in the wrong group of people.

Life is all about trying and exploring.

You gotta keep trying to find your group and fit in.

I once was in the wrong group of people, being with them brings no happiness to me.

Hence, I left them and join the other group."

(Extracted from Winnee's post)

This is indeed something always swirling in my mind.

They are hurting me so much, why i not i just leave these friends,

joining the other side would be much happier.

Why not leave?

Personally, its because i still consider you as a friend.

I know its not gonna do me good, I know I'm gonna fail if I continue to head that direction.

But sorry, I'm born like that.

Cause I completely agree with

"Friendship is a precious thing in life"

Before I end, don't remind me saying "you also or what". I know.

Valentines~~~

Valentines is around the corner,

and instead of wasting my time dealing with unnessecary peeps,

so i decided to post this instead =D

Happy Valentines Friends! =)

I know im an anime freak =D

Religions? Sensitive issue

I'm not that religious

However after watching a particular video on youtube,

I start to dislike it after 8minutes of playing.

The video shows that long long time ago

the ancient gods of china and western countries,

specificly Shang Ti and God were a similar being,

thats what i understood from the video.

God do exist, yes. He exists.

You believe in Him, He exists.

You don't, He don't.

However i believe more in miracles than god,

Don't ask me why, i don't know

I attended religious activities before,

but none seemed to appeal to me.

So this is how i am now,

Not so religious at all,

altough i still do practice

some religion activities occasionally.

So i'll post the video link here to share

with my fellow visitors,

as i have a multiracial visitor here.

don't be stingy =D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=DA-AkJzpKmg

*notice comments are disabled in the video. I believe enabling it would bring flammings

to this video*

Now i personally don't like this video is...

Lets just say, he did not consider

and bring the

opinions,

and feelings

of NON CHRISTIANS

into his calculations.

Oh well lets not bring everything out here,

as i said,

Religions, Sensitive Issue

Poker Face

Do believed that most people on this planet called

Earth knows and listens to Lady Gaga's Poker Face.

Quite a famous one and one of my favourite songs.

However this time I'm not gonna talk about

the lyrics and anything related to the song.

Poker Face referred to wikipedia means

Any similar expression used to prevent giving away one's motives, feelings, or situation.

In daily life, not everything goes according to our likings.

Some cases we can put on a frown of dislike or disagreement,

but sometimes we have to just smile and accept it for a moment.

When we met unfavourable conditions,

its not always pushing the

exit button is gonna work.

It differs among peoples and situations.

For example, if a community rejects you,

do you think pushing the exit button is a possible route for all?

If you are working in a company, where your boss, colleagues

dislike your presence and seperates you from them,

is there a need to quit because of such matters?

See beyond the limits of being outcasted and

learn from them, take in their good and recognize their bad.

It will benefit you in life.

However, if you step out of that particular circle,

You learn nothing.

You just learned how to avoid.

And you just narrowed down

your social life.

So....why not just put on your best poker face

and continue your life like normal.

And also..mind to join me a game of poker? =P

Who am i suppose to trust? You? Him? or Her?

Who am i suppose to trust nowadays?

You? or Him? or Her?

Mr S. is one of the double face friends i unmasked.

Don't wish to unmask another one.

Sooo to one of my friend, you forgotten when i was left out,

no matter, you follow my blog right? so im gonna tell u here when.

Form3 year end if not mistaken, you peeps when for movies,

and didn't even bother to call me and ask am i free.

The answer u gave me after i realised i was left out was~

"oh, i though u were hanging out with the seniors"

That was the 1st time.

So this time, i was asking why i was left out again.

I wasn't that pissed when i wasn't invited,

I was furious when i get this respond.

"

• dont believe

• just deem that this event doesnt exist

"

It just made clear what you didn't explain.

I don't mind what u feel if you really are reading this.

Have you ever felt the feeling being left out again and again?

Hence...i chose to believe her instead of you.

Ms J, sorry again if i sounded like scolding =X

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